Chapter Six Comments

It is interesting to think about two contradictory ideas about the internet. First, that the “easy-share internet” has created a vast social network that could otherwise never exist. Second, that communication forms such as email and text-messaging have created an environment with less personal interaction than ever before which maybe even hinders some people’s interpersonal development. I think both of these ideas have truth in them, they are just referring to different kinds of relationships.

I have heard some people say that they don’t care for the internet because they would rather deal with a real person. The internet is too cold. Of course the person on the other end of most internet interactions is real too. Just try putting a pleasantry like “How ya doing today?” in the special instructions box the next time you order something online. See how quickly you get a response (and better customer service too).

The flip side is that I know of few relationships that can do as well online as in “the real world” (or is it “In Real Life”, IRL). I have real world friends who I don’t get to see very often, but communicate with over email. We almost always say, “Hey, we need to get together sometime soon!” Clearly, online is not as good as face to face or even as good as a phone call. I believe that there is a very real impersonalness to online communications that our organismic selves cannot get around.

I wonder if a teacher who does most of his teaching via the computer can really establish as good of a relationship with his students as a teacher who does most of her teaching face to face. There is little doubt that a good teacher-student relationship is very important. I wonder if a generation of students who have grown up using email, text-messaging, myspace, and facebook feel the like these communication methods are as impersonal as I do or if their neural networks don’t differentiate as strongly.

All my friends are “real world/ IRL” friends. An internet friend would feel kind of contrived to me, yet certainly there are people who develop deep online friendships and even courtships that really work. I don’t deny that such relationships are genuine and lasting, maybe even more intellectually truthful. I just know I would rather see the emotional reaction in a person’s face and voice.

Clearly, the technology discussed in this chapter of the book provides great informational access and could be powerful educational tools. I just question how much of a relational tradeoff there is if the technology is used by a teacher a lot. I would be very interested to hear what someone more comfortable with cyber-friendships thought about that issue.